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Switzerland, The Golden Cage

Switzerland works perfectly. That is precisely the problem.

Cover of the book Switzerland, The Golden Cage by Leonardo Mascia
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TitleSwitzerland, The Golden Cage
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AuthorLeonardo Mascia
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Format (tick one)
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Declared reason for the stayI went to Zurich for three months. I stayed for eight years.

Choose the Amazon store you use.

English edition in Kindle, paperback and hardcover. Also available to order from bookshops. Paperback ISBN-13: 979-8175801935. German edition: Die Schweiz, der goldene Käfig. Italian and French editions on the way.

A one-minute introduction to the book, presented by an AI-generated avatar.

What is the book about?

I went to Zurich for three months. I stayed for eight years. This book is what happened in between.

Put like that, it sounds like a story about work. And, in part, it is: there’s all the vocabulary I learnt the hard way, the sort in which ‘optimise’ means someone is about to lose their job. But there’s also a son, a marriage that ended, a night involving the police and a weekend behind bars. The last two had not featured in the itinerary. And a country that smiles as it presents you with an eye-watering bill.

It is also a reflection on men’s place in contemporary society, drawn from my own experience: fatherhood, the weight of expectations, vulnerability, and the search for an identity when you lose your bearings, at work as well as in your private life. Because a man is expected to hold it together. Preferably without making a fuss.

What genre is it?

On paper: a memoir. I call it a bureaucratic comedy. There are plenty of laughs. Then, at some point, you remember it actually happened.

Inside the cage

This is not a book against Switzerland.
It is much more complicated.

After more than ten years in France, arriving in Zurich felt like a system upgrade: more order, more precision, less room for the unexpected. Then efficiency began to reveal its real talent—turning comfort into a form of training.

Switzerland, The Golden Cage explores work, bureaucracy, culture, and integration through the eyes of an outsider. With statistics precise enough to sound serious and sarcasm serious enough to become statistical.

From the book

Four passages. No neutrality.

“Switzerland works perfectly. That is precisely the problem.”
Entering the cage
“Comfort does not reward you. It trains you.”
Efficiency
“Paradise existed. It was written in Arial.”
Bureaucracy
“The system guarantees continuity, not destination.”
The system

Latest from the cage

The book ends.
Switzerland continues.

Satirical illustration: two Swiss police officers chase a grocery bag full of household rubbish along a Zurich street.Satire and commentary · 15.10.2026

Stop right there, that tray came from home

One plastic tray, two officers and 150 francs: in Switzerland, even rubbish has to know its place.

Read the article →
Cartoon of Alessandro Romano running out of a gilded cage bearing the Swiss flag towards Italy and the Sardinian sea.Satire and commentary · 30.09.2026

Alessandro Romano and the gilded cage with an exit fee

A twenty-year-old chooses Italy. Swiss football discovers that talent is not a fixed-term deposit.

Read the article →
Satirical illustration: UBS in an open golden cage, while foreign banks wait on the steps in Zurich.Satire and commentary · 28.09.2026

Escape from the Golden Cage

UBS threatens to leave Switzerland. At last, a cellmate richer than I am.

Read the article →
Fictional officials in helmets stamp files inside a golden cage on tank tracks, beneath a Swiss umbrella full of holes.Satire and commentary · 27.09.2026

Switzerland rejects extra neutrality. War is still by appointment only.

Seven in ten voters reject a stricter form of neutrality. National self-esteem, meanwhile, remains fully armoured.

Read the article →
Satirical illustration: an enormous Swiss judge, two officers holding an expired Covid certificate, and a tiny Granit Xhaka beside stacks of files.Satire and opinion

Granit Xhaka and the immortal certificate: in Switzerland, the virus passes; the paperwork stays

The Granit Xhaka affair revives the most resilient Swiss variant of all: the administrative procedure.

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Satirical scene: a man on a suitcase, surrounded by stacks of paperwork, receives an enormous envelope from an official beside a Swiss Alpine lake.Satire and opinion

Ten things you only understand after living in Switzerland

The tenth arrives by post, in German, and requires a reply within five days.

Read the story →
Humorous illustration contrasting the public chaos of Paris with the outward order of Zurich and the private disorder beneath itSatire and opinion

Zurich versus Paris: public order and private disorder

Two cities, two philosophies, and one question: where does one suffer more punctually?

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A red Swiss train almost buried in snow in a remote Alpine landscapeSatire and opinion

Do Swiss trains really always run on time?

Putting a national legend on the right track with numbers, delays and missed connections.

Read the story →

Choose your edition

Buy the book.
The cage is included.

The English edition is out now on Amazon in Kindle, paperback and hardcover, and can also be ordered from bookshops. Paperback ISBN-13: 979-8175801935. Choose the format and the Amazon store you use.

English edition

Switzerland, The Golden Cage

Italian edition

Svizzera, la gabbia dorata

Paperback ISBN-13: 979-8175801935.
Also available to order from bookshops.

French edition

La Suisse, cage dorée

Paperback ISBN-13: 979-8175801935.
Also available to order from bookshops.